Couples Workshop -Trauma-informed intimacy and Kink

About

BDSM has the potential to be exhilarating, intimate, and profoundly transformative. At the same time, it can touch into deeper emotional and nervous system layers — ones shaped by past experiences of trauma, attachment, or overwhelm. This workshop offers a space to explore how we can approach BDSM with more awareness of these layers, and with tools that support care, safety, and nervous system regulation.

Trauma doesn’t mean brokenness – it means your system learned to survive. In kink and power play, these survival responses can surface: freezing in the middle of a scene, going numb during intense sensations, feeling unexpectedly small or shut down. These moments don’t mean the play has “gone wrong” – but they do invite more understanding, compassion, and skill.

In this workshop, we will unpack what it means to be trauma-informed in BDSM: how to design consent conversations that take nervous system responses into account, how to recognize when you (or your partner) might be in a survival state, and how to respond in ways that are both grounded and attuned. You’ll leave with language, frameworks, and body-based tools to help you engage in kink with more confidence, clarity, and connection.

No alcohol will be served. Phones will be off or put away for the duration to protect presence and privacy. The workshop will be held in English or Dutch, depending on the preferences of the participants. 

Discover

• How trauma lives in the body – and how it can be activated or soothed in kink contexts
• Recognizing common trauma responses – such as freeze, fawn, dissociation, collapse, or hypervigilance
• Tools for adapting consent conversations – to include emotional capacity, regulation, and aftercare needs
• What it means to map your risk profile – understanding what types of play are likely to support you, and which may require extra care
• Grounding and co-regulation techniques – for staying present during scenes and supporting each other when things feel shaky
• What to do when a trauma response shows up mid-scene – how to pause, check in, and tend to each other without shame or panic
• How to build safety and resilience into your dynamic – not by avoiding intensity, but by approaching it with more intention and skill.

This is not a therapy session – it’s a practical, embodied exploration of how to integrate trauma-awareness into the very real, very human ways we play, relate, and explore power together.

Who is it for?

This workshop is for anyone who wants to bring more consciousness, care, and skill to their kink play – especially when working with intensity, emotional vulnerability, or known trauma histories.

It’s designed for:

• Curious or self-aware kinksters who want to explore their own responses in a more supported way
• Tops and dominants who want to better recognize and respond to their partners’ trauma signals
• Subs, bottoms, or switches navigating nervous system overwhelm, freeze, or people-pleasing
• Couples or play partners who want to communicate more openly about emotional triggers and regulation
• Anyone who has felt the emotional impact of a scene and wants more tools to unpack, integrate, and repair

You do not need to identify as “traumatized” to attend. This is about playing with more presence, and building the capacity to hold ourselves – and each other – with care.

The Expert: Hilde Christiaens

Meet Hilde Christiaens, a clinical psychologist and dedicated trainer with over +10 years of experience guiding people through the intricate landscapes of resilience, connection, and consent. Her workshops support people to explore kink and alternative relationship structures with more skill and care.

Her approach goes beyond theory — Hilde invites participants to expand their perspective and capacity to navigate desires, boundaries, and relational patterns. With a clear, empathetic, and sharp eye, she creates safe spaces where people can develop the skills to navigate intimacy and connection with boldness and authenticity. Her style is both direct and compassionate — bringing authenticity, but always with kindness.

Dresscode

There’s no need to dress up or down – the focus is on comfort, presence, and participation.

We invite you to wear whatever helps you feel grounded and at ease: soft layers, cozy clothes, or whatever you’d wear to sit, move, and reflect comfortably for a few hours. If you feel drawn to wear something that connects you with your sensuality, power, or playfulness, you’re absolutely welcome to – but it’s completely optional.

This is a learning space, not a play party, so come as you are. Your presence is what matters.