How to Outsmart Your Dom

Ten things (not) to say to drive your top up the wall

By Ena Dahl • 2 min read • ENGLISH

Nothing triggers and gets your (benign, sexual-) sadist or dominant going like small acts of defiance; snarky comments, ripe with brattiness. After thorough research, I’ve compiled the following list of all the things to not— under any circumstance — say to your sadistic partner during play. Their likely reactions are listed below.

I don’t bruise easily…

We’ll see about that…(Makes damn sure you bruise a lot)

I never scream!

That was before you met me! (You will scream)

I bet you can’t make me cry…

Challenge accepted! (Prepare to weep)

Try me! (Said with a cocky smirk)

Oh, I will… (Yep, they certainly will)

Oh no, not the cane! (Insert whatever else is in their hand)

Double cane it is!

Oh no, I’m soooo scared… (Add a tinge of sarcasm)

You’ve seen nothing yet. (They’ll show you)

Ouch, that hurts!

You think that hurts, wait until you see this…

That barely hurt…

Wait, what? (Steps up their game even further)

… (Make no sound at all and smile defyingly back at them)

… (The lack of reaction drives them mad)

Wait, was that it?

Hah, that was just the beginning… (Enter level 2)

When I said to never say these things, there is, of course, one exception; if you happen to be a filthy little masochist brat. In that case, please do say all of the things—while laughing, and throwing pillows at them.

Disclaimer: In all seriousness, if you ever do want your dominant and/or sadist partner to stop, please use your safe word like the smart, responsible adult you are!

Have fun and play safe!


Ena Dahl | Writer for SPNKD

Multidimensional creatrix & muse
seeking to unite sexuality & spirituality,
instigate alchemical healing & ignite the wild (wo)man
  • Why, as a Kinkster, I Married Vanilla

    When masochistic submissive and straight-and-narrow vanilla collide

    By Tess Dagger • 5 min read • ENGLISH

  • BDSM Safety 101 — A Primer

    The bare-bones basics for navigating your first scene safely, plus some peeks at considerations for more advanced play

    By Tess Dagger • 11 min read • ENGLISH

  • Is Submission an Excuse to Be Lazy in Bed?

    The active role of the ‘passive’ part in a D/s dynamic

    By Ena Dahl • 6 min read • ENGLISH